If you listen to the news, you will learn about the failures that are happening in the church. My new book, Hope After Church Hurt, is God's answer to a crisis we’ve been in. It is a positive turn, knowing God wants to heal the church and His people.Churches are here to reach the lost and heal the found. God is not done with the church.
I love going to the movies, but I do not like horror movies. I even did spiritual warfare on the Haunted Mansion ride at Disney. Something in me believes when something has died, it should remain dead. The title for this message is “Haunted by Hurt”. In I Samuel 28:5-14 we find the account of Saul consulting a medium. Saul was not hearing from God through dreams or prophets, so he decided to disguise himself and illegally consult with a medium. His intention was to get some kind of assurance from the prophet Samuel even though Samuel was dead.
This passage reads like an episode from “Stranger Things”. How does a godly king end up in such a dark place to find answers? Rejection. God had originally paired Saul with Samuel to rule over Israel, a partnership between king and prophet. They were to work hand in hand but Saul’s heart grew hard. He walked away from the direction of God. In frustration, Samuel announced his disgust with Saul publicly. He gave a godly message in a harsh way that brought rejection for Saul.
You may be carrying rejection from a coach or teacher, even a sibling or parent. Samuel died, but his rejection stayed on, haunting Saul. Saul’s insecurity destabilized him. He was inconsistent, setting out to do something great but incapable of staying the course. He was inconsolable. Even after Samuel died, he could not separate himself from the feeling of rejection and disapproval.
Like Saul, by digging in the past, we're looking for something. We retell the story, repeat a conversation, try to explain and get answers. We think we’re looking for closure, but we get pulled in by the enemy, keeping us from living the life God has for us. Saul was digging for relief from rejection not realizing the damage it was doing, falling deeper into the enemy's trap, deeper in lies, deeper in pain. You cannot walk in authority and insecurity at the same time.
You know you are dealing with rejection when it enters your prayer life. During prayer, you realize your mind keeps going back to where rejection was, to that thing that haunts you. God spoke clearly to me after a particularly hurtful experience, “Let it die or it won’t let you live”. I could finally see and was in a place to let the Holy Spirit to do what needed to be done.
You don’t have to live in the grave of your past. The lid that is keeping you down can be cast aside and you can walk free and in peace. You can put it to rest and be positioned to fulfill the abundant life God has for you.
How do we walk in healing from rejection? Let me give you a few steps:
- Enter God's presence. Sex, substance abuse and success won’t heal. Only God's presence brings joy, the lifting of heaviness, clarity, and wisdom. Our souls find rest in his presence. We don’t know what we really need, but he can show us the way to our freedom. Stop trying to heal without the healer. Entering his presence is different than being in his presence. You can still be bound even though you attend church. You need to enter into God’s presence and open your heart through worship. It’s difficult to worship when you feel rejected, but bring the sacrifice of praise. Get out of your comfort zone. Raise your hands in worship. Open your mouth and sing. Let tears flow. Fall on your knees. Fresh worship can lead you into your healing.
- Unmask and admit your hurt. Church people wear masks all the time. Get real. The hold up to your healing lies in honesty. At some point we have to admit we’re hurt. Saul put on a disguise. He showed up as something he was not. We tend to be survivors, not resolvers. We put on the mask, adapt to dysfunction and forget the source of the dysfunction. But it is the source that we need to address, and we do that by taking off the mask. When we take off the mask, we have conversations and prayer with others. People are God's delivery system. Let God reveal what happened that led to your condition. Share it with someone trustworthy. Talk and let the Holy Spirit reveal truth through those relational encounters. Bare your heart and find healing. Light will invade darkness. Mercy will meet sin. Then, get ready to be free.
- Release your pain. Have you ever hurt yourself and asked someone to take a look, only to pull back when they try to touch the injury? We tend to pull back when we’re hurt, but if we let that hurt be touched by someone qualified to help, we can get relief. Are you coming to church where you can get healed but refusing to release your pain? Releasing pain will test your trust like nothing else. If you get surgery you want an expert. Only One can fully understand and take your pain. Jesus was the most hated and rejected person we know of, from birth to death. Even his Father had to forsake him. But, better yet, he knows your rejection. He has record of every tear and every wrong. He specializes in heart break. Scripture says he bottles our tears. This is evidence he holds for future justice. You don’t have to hold onto the pain. He is just and trustworthy. Choose to go nowhere else. Go to Jesus when you sense the pain. He takes care of that pain and pulls you back to abundant life. Return again and again until the hurt is healed.
- Receive God's blessing. Releasing your pain gets you out of the grave but receiving God's blessing covers what has happened. In I Samuel 10, God spoke over Saul that he was a new person with gifts he didn’t have before. God promised he was with Saul. God declared his approval before Saul was anointed as king. Saul didn’t have to perform to get God’s approval. But, he spent his life trying to reassure him of approval even though he already possessed it. There’s no failure that can change the fact that you’re God’s son or daughter. Nothing can change your DNA. You are loved and accepted fully by your heavenly father.
Release whatever it is that breaks your heart and enter into all that God has for you. Enter God's presence, unmask and admit your hurt, release your pain, and receive God's blessing. He loves you.
