We’re finishing a series we call “You Asked for It”. Today the topic is “Forgiveness”. People wanted to know about pain, hurt and unforgiveness and how to get past things that are bothering them.
The goal of this message is for you to know that God can do a healing work in your heart. Can you identify with the statement, “I DON’T CARE ANYMORE”. Just the fact that you say you don’t care means that you care.
The first step in the progression that got you to “I don’t care anymore” is that in every relational conflict, whether it is with a group of people or a single person, something caused distance. The tendency is to shut the other person out. If you do it physically, you will do it internally. You will close your heart to them causing distance.
The next step is building walls. When you build a wall against bad people, you also keep out the good people. This can even impact your relationship with God. You become so protective of your emotions and your heart that no one can touch you again. If you don’t deal with it at this point, it always escalates.
With escalation the situation seems bigger. You’ve allowed the little things to grow so big that the situation gets out of control and you start saying and thinking things about the other people that belittles them. Belittling is used to try to protect yourself instead of taking the highroad.
Where the enemy (read John 8:44) gets the most involved is the next step, false belief. A false belief is where you start imagining things that didn’t even exist or weren’t said. You begin reading more into the story than was ever there. Trust is abandoned and you allow lies to fill your mind.
The final stage is what we will call hostility. I’ve discovered that hostility is not the condition between you and another person, but the condition of your soul. It begins to infect how you believe and how you live. Even when you’re not around that person, you have no peace and no joy. Avoiding conflict does not give you peace.
Before you were even willing to reconcile or accept Jesus as Lord, He initiated a reconciliation process even though He was not the offending party (Ephesians 2:12-14)! He himself has brought you peace through His work on the cross. He broke down the wall of hostility that separated us. So then, we need to “get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT).
It seems easier said than done, but Paul gives us the catch. Forgive each other just as God through Christ has forgiven you. How then do you forgive? Forgive as Christ forgave you. When He forgave you, He not only forgave you but, with it, He imparted the power for you to be able to forgive others. You can have peace in your heart regardless of what the other party decides to do or not do. I think that’s what people are really asking for when they ask how to get past things that are bothering them.
I’m inviting you on a journey and I want you to filter it through the authority of God‘s word. Step over to the other side of this thing called faith and discover that there is power to do exactly what He’s asking you to do.
Of course, if you’re going to be able to forgive others, you first have to receive God‘s forgiveness for yourself. Maybe you have prayed for forgiveness but you still find yourself trying to earn it as if God is keeping score. Everything that you have done and everything that you will do has already been paid for by the blood of Jesus. He forgives you completely. What you are facing is nothing compared to the amount of love and grace that He has shown to you. This changes everything in how you treat other people, especially those who have hurt you. “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all” (1 Timothy 1:13-15 NLT). “‘Come now, let’s settle this,’ says the Lord. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, [Stop trying to give more and serve more and do more and just receive it] I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool’” (Isaiah 1:18 NLT).
Once you have truly received God’s forgiveness, you can freely give forgiveness. You have the capacity to forgive those who have offended you because of what Christ did for you. Live for Christ. Stop evaluating others from a human perspective.
Maybe that relationship will never be restored or reconciled. But here’s what you can do that requires none of the other person's participation. Take the balance that they owe you and make it a zero because that’s what Jesus did for you.
Here’s the challenge. GO FIRST. One of the most unique things that Jesus did for you and me was that he didn't wait to see how we were going to respond to His payment for our sins. He just did it (Romans 5:8). In Him, you have the power to forgive first. Remember, choices lead. Feelings follow.
